Oh my God, is anything in this video true?
Yes, we only used free-range organic ethically farmed udder-breasted girls.

But I’ve always heard that milk is nature’s perfect food.
It IS the perfect food, if you're trying to KILL YOURSELF. Cows milk contains urine, blood, semen, milk, feces, saliva, black dye and even milk. Happy now?

But my doctor told me to drink milk to prevent osteoporosis!
You dont have osteoporosis, tell your doctor to get a fucking clue. We OBVIOUSLY know more about animals than he does, he's not a veteranarian. Milk causes AIDS.

But my kids love milk and ice cream!
What is it they love? The sweet sugary taste, the cool brush of the ice on their tongues? The subtle brilliance of vanilla and chocolate? No, its because they are TERRORISTS. Milk funds terrorism.

But I depend on dairy products as my main source of protein!
No you dont, idiot. You can get all the protein that a human body needs from legumes (beans, peas, and healthy, healthy peanuts), vegetables, nuts (again), seeds, yeast, nuts, vegetables, and feces.

But I live on an organic farm, I treat my cows well, they live happy lives
They are the prisoners of their facist oppressors, you are supporting the nazi regime.

What would I eat if I didn’t have dairy products?
How about the many tens of nondairy alternatives at your local food-martstore? Need specifics? How about tofu, or soya? Butter is a great source of protein, as is cheese and beer.

Guess I'll go drink 10 pints then
That’s right. Beer is good for you.